So, how do they get...together?

Well, it is official. I just gave my first ever birds and the bees talk. It totally caught me off guard and it was NOT like I had imagined it. I thought with all of my expertise as a labor and delivery nurse and the nature of my job that it would pretty much be a walk in the park. I also imagined that it would be me, Justin, and Nicholas enjoying dinner at a nice restaurant and chatting about it like we would the weather. Imagine the complete opposite of that.

We were watching T.V. on the couch. Not a kind of show that would spark that this type of conversation by any means. But apparently he had a plan of attack. First, he blindsided me with the question: "Mom, how are babies delivered?" Okay, innocent enough. I explained that babies are delivered either by pushing them out or having a C section...I have had both so I felt that he understood and I had sufficiently explained myself. I was then sucker punched by his next inquiry: "How does the baby get inside?". OH, geez. I told him that the woman has eggs and the man has sperm and they come together. The egg then divides and sticks inside a muscle inside the woman called a uterus and the baby grows until it is ready to come out. He sat there for a minute and mulled it over and for a brief second I thought I was off the hook. He then looked at me and knocked me out with: "So....how do the egg and the sperm get...together?" I could feel my face getting hot and I found myself floundering for an explanation. I was getting so mad at myself for feeling this way because I didn't want Nicholas to EVER feel uncomfortable about coming to his parents with questions about sex. His face was red...I was losing control of the situation.

I then said: "Have you ever heard about sex?"

"No." (But something in his answer made me think he had...)

"It is something that a man and a woman do when they are in love and after they are married." (I thought I should at least put some good old family values into the conversation just for good measure. I also see WAY too many teen pregnancies and I don't want my son to be a statistic!) I went on to say: "The man's penis has sperm in it and it comes out sometimes and then the man gives it to the egg and that is how they get together." (Oh brother, what a terrible explanation. But really, if he doesn't ask, do I HAVE to get into the girl parts and periods...come on now. That is a big, fat NO!).

He seemed okay with this answer so I followed up with this:

"Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
"Do you have any questions?"
"No."
"Are you embarassed?"
(giggle) "A little."
"Well, if you ever have any questions, make sure you come to me or dad, don't go ask your friends."
"Okay."
"I love you!"
"I love you too, mom."

I guess it all worked out okay in the end. Just think, I just have to do this three more times and that is it. Hopefully they are smoother than this one!