I have a new favorite quote- one written by Iris Krasnow. It’s in an article called, “Surrendering to Motherhood.” She says: “If I had any advice for mothers it would be to ‘Be There.’ I know I am fortunate to be in a profession and marriage that allows me to spend most of each day near my children. But Being There isn’t about money or even about staying home full-time. It’s about an emotional and spiritual shift, of succumbing to Being Where You Are When You Are, and Being There as much as possible. Its about crouching on the floor and getting delirious over the praying mantis your son just caught instead of perusing a fax or filling the dishwasher while he is yelling for your attention and you distractedly say over your shoulder: “Oh , honey, isn’t that a pretty bug.” It’s about being attuned enough to notice when your kid’s eyes shine so you can make your eyes shine back.”

No matter how much I write about the funny things I want to remember, no matter how many pictures I take and stash in photo albums, no matter how much I will time to slow down and beg my kids to quit growing so darn fast, this time with young children will still slip away. But the joy that I let myself feel while I’m in the moment with my kids will not fade with the years like the pictures and the memories, it will become part of me. And it will become part of my kids.

Not everyday can be picture perfect nor can you let chores go by undone all day everyday to spend every waking moment with your children waiting for the little things to happen. Right now, I need to work and that is okay but I think I need to realize that I can't keep wishing for that day that is hopefully on the horizon when I don't have to work as much, or at all. But, there are little moments in everyday that can be cherished and collected in my memory to hold forever. The moments when I get home from work and Liam is waiting for me at the door with a huge grin on his face. The moments that I still have a 10 year old boy who will talk to me, snuggle with me, and give me hugs-even in front of his friends. The moments when the boys are so excited when I don't have to go to work on the weekends because it means we will have pancakes on Saturday mornings. The shy grin Andrew gets when he is praised or excited about something. The times when we are watching a movie on the couch and all four boys are on it with me, smooshed, but loving every minute.